If you want to check out his blog, the link is:

http://kylehollingsworth.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/rothbury/Bless us,

Maggie

Side Note– I just went and read his About Me Section or whatever the fuck it is called on his page, and it turns out he is in the String Cheese Incident and then I peed my pants. That was like the biggest celebrity moment of my life. The String Cheese Incident is AMAZING as well– be sure to check them out!

I then think about the life that person must have had that brought them up to that point, that moment, where I took that picture of them being the transient parent that they are. I wonder if they too were dragged around half naked and dirty with two day old diapers to Woodstock with their parents at that age– maybe those childhood memories to them are like Cedar Point was for me– maybe I am in the minority of people who think like I do at all.

As a psychology major, I am constantly trying to get into other people’s heads and figure out what makes them tick (or in my case ticks them off) and reason as they would. People give me shit all the time for talking to creepy truck drivers, still staying true to friends who have stabbed me in the back and having spent my childhood waiting outside Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch with a boy haircut and tattered clothing, just praying he would molest me. Honestly though, these random interactions with these random people are a big part of who I am. People intrigue me. If I could have any super power it would be to meet someone and be able to understand how they feel and why they feel that way. I want to know what they know.

I wonder then, if I would commend those parents I have labeled as transient for overcoming obstacles and spending time with their children. More likely though, I would use their weaknesses and secrets against them to have their kid taken away by Child Protective Services– seriously.

If I go to Rothbury next year and have someone scold me for saying FUCK because there are children present– I will be very angry, probably apologize, and talk mad shit behind their backs and probably yell FUCK even louder and expose my painted tits.

I am pretty sure this only makes sense to me right now, so I guess its time to stop. I uploaded some new videos to my YouTube account from Rothbury and there are many more to come– here are a couple of my favorites

Bless us,

Maggie

While I was at Rothbury the past four/ five days, I was able to compile a list of things to make sure you bring to Rothbury or another music festival in order to make sure that you have the absolute best time possible. Here is a photo journey of what I found (as best as the camera could capture it)

Body Paint!

The MOST body paint

 I would never think of going to a music festival without a sufficient amount of body paint to use on myself as makeshift pasties and my man as a way of declaring our love for America on the fourth of July.

Wise Old Medicine Woman a MUST

It is best to always keep an old medicine woman on reserve to whip up an herbal hangover cure or perform CPR in case of emergency. With her past Woodstock experiences, she is also a go to gal for all things sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Your Most Slimming Black Outfit

It is definitely a good idea to bring clothing that is figure flattering yet weather appropriate. I found that by wearing an outfit like that above, I not only looked appealing to the opposite sex, but I also was able to showcase my body art and keep the breeze flowing through my very thin leggings– minimal undergarments are usually a good idea.

Beach Towels

In case your posse is sleepy like mine, or Latino, it is a good idea to bring large beach towels. These allowed me to sneak in massive amounts of cheap beer and let my friends sleep through amazing concerts (Grateful Dead apparently makes lullabies in Michigan)

Buddy System Octopus

When traveling with a group of people, it is best to make sure that you have a way of sticking together in the crowds (and standing out, like these assholes did with the inflatable octopus number). I think of it as an updated child leash– also a must at Rothbury for those amazing parents out there who decided it was a good idea to nix the babysitter and make it a family drug binge.

Combat Boots

For those of you like me who are not into going barefoot in a horse ranch surrounded by drug abusers for five days, it is best to consider a stylish yet comfortable and powerful shoe to get you through the experience. I would suggest combat boots for such an occasion, but only if you are going to show them off.

Cut-off Denim Man-skort

Who says skorts are just for women? This man proves that they are stylish, comfortable and Eco-friendly (as I am sure he made his own). On the off-chance that when it is your turn to go to a music festival, male designers are not yet selling these sassy numbers, it is easy to make your own– this friend used an old pair of Tommy Hilfiger jeans.

Dress Clothes

It may seem like music festivals are all about being comfortable, but there will be times that call for your most dressy of outfits– for instance, I believe this picture was taken on the Fourth of July, which was very fitting because I think nothing shows you are more proud to be an American or to be independent than a wide mesh dress complete with only white granny panties underneath. I have a feeling this lady came from church to the Flogging Molly concert

Glow in the Dark Goodies

This is a picture of my ten year old friend I made at the Grateful Dead concert who was selling glow sticks to raise money for an XBOX. Its crazy how people on acid flock to these simple beings– I mean, they were staring like crazy at this half naked ten year old hula hooping in the cold..

Inflatable Monkeys

I feel like I am stating the obvious on this one, but I would really like to stress the importance of bringing an inflatable monkey with you to Rothbury. The top one was sitting in front of me at the Grateful Dead concert and caused several drugged up douches to trip on me repeatedly. The bottom one was a common landmark that people in the campsite asked us about when they couldn’t find their tents. I guess in a way it is this monkey that is the reason I found my new friend Angel.

A Nalgene

For cheap hicks like myself, bringing a nalgene is essential if you do not want to pay seven dollars a beer on the festival grounds. This one ended up getting thrown away (Angel) upon having it found during the strip search at the entrance– but, the couple times I got it through were magical.

Rasta Fanny Pack

Proof that not all hippies are irresponsible, the Rasta Fanny Pack is a rare but delightful find.

A Sports Bra

Why waste all that space in your luggage by filling it with shirts when a sports bra is a sexy and cozy way to bypass the unnecessary clothing. I bet this woman doubled the amount of shrooms she snuck in by choosing such a lovely top.

Umbrella

I think that we often get so caught up in what an umbrella can do for us when protecting us from sun and rain that we forget how big a fashion statement just the right parasol can make (sometimes I wished she would have tipped it down sometimes to hide that raging camel toe, because I was way too turned on throughout the Black Crowes concert)

Playskool Wagon

Its always good to bring a playskool wagon not only for your tag-a-long two year old, but also as a way of discreetly hiding your drugs and alcohol. It also helps to protect baby from your second hand smoke (transient mother)

Your Ten Year Old Daughter

When drug trafficking got old fast, I wished I had a different way of making money. One man was selling turtles, but these clever parents decided to let their daughter who was ten go with them to her millionth grateful dead concert and hula hoop in leopard spankies and a bikini top and go around to drugged up creepy older men and try to sell them glow-sticks to raise money for an “XBOX”. At first I was quick to label this as only good parenting, but it was also a very good business decision on their part. I was able to feed this one Chiclets, convince her to put a coat on, sell glow-sticks without using her body, and teach her what molestation was (all true stories) in just a matter of one concert. It definitely paid off, because I made out with a glow bracelet, beaded necklace, crystal and her phone number– and I had someone to hug me through the fireworks— and her parents still got to be carefree and party in their flower viser and drug coma while I got to mother her!

Unfortunately, I did not capture all of the best things to bring/ do at Rothbury on camera— I hope that this will help all of you pack for your future festivals as I know I feel more prepared for next year now!

Bless us,

Maggie

Bless us

Maggie

Me at my thinnest and hottest

Throwing up in my mouth a little at my 21st Birthday-- not sure

The Pantomime

My family in Alpha Chi Omega-- so pretty

Drinking Beamish in Ireland– so classy

Halloween in Ireland-- guess which creep ass is me

Busting out my stink eye with Scotty this winter

I would put this one on Match.com, but there would just be too many suitors

What my Irish roomies called "Maggie Morning Hair"

One good way to quickly hide Maggie Morning Hair

Bless us,

Maggie

PS– don’t put these in a porno magazine without my permission.

Last week, my brother and I met up after my interview in Battle Creek at Texas Corral in Kalamazoo and had some beers so I could kill time before my little Logers got out of work and I could go to dinner with him. Well, I had to kill an hour of it at the bar alone because Noah left earlier and Logers got out later and guess what– two old alcoholic truckers sat next to me and bought me a bunch of corona lights and somehow managed to ask me what the size of my nipples are (dinner plate size I replied and held up two plates). I can’t even remember what their names were, but I am sure they were something fancy. I told them my boyfriend was coming to pick me up, and Logan rescued me and played along very well and even deepened his voice.

So then yesterday I am at the bar with Amanda, Vanessa and Ryan from high school and we are enjoying dollar miller light bottles and who comes up and sits next to me, but an old alcoholic named Henry or Terry (whichever I wanted, so I chose Henry) and he told me his entire life story over a million beers that he bought me. He told me he had three stomach aneurysms, one brain aneurysm, four heart attacks and that he had been retired since 2002 but he would never give up drinking– I love a man with dedication. He kept giving me fives as well and telling me to pick out some redneck music for him on the jukebox… apparently I did a good job because when a song by Hank Williams Jr. came on that he loved, he proceeded to tell me he had not slow danced in 20 years, and then of course I broke that streak– there will be pictures to accompany that story later (put those on facebook amanda– yikes!). So, that’s about it for now, I know I left out many stories where I have been the opposite of a cougar and sure there are many to come.

Maybe one of these old guys is really just Benjamin Button, waiting to turn to Brad Pitt in a few years– in the words of Henry “Git ‘er Done!”

Bless us

Maggie

For the majority of my life, I was raised in a Republican home, but as time has passed, all of government has become more corrupt, Republicans and Democrats alike.  It is becoming painfully clear that my generation is simply not interested in hearing what is or is not going on in government. I admit that I too tend to shut down when I start hearing about what Bush did and what Obama is doing; how Michigan is headed down a slippery slope to Ethiopian status and blah blah blah… basically it comes down to the fact that my generation is the one that will be most effected and cluster fucked by the ignorant and selfish actions of our past and current government.

After my experience today at the TEA Party, I decided I should share with you why it is that I am a registered Libertarian now (the third largest party in the US). To be honest, I am sick of our government being a two party system when it should be a government of the people and by the people. I hate that it is nearly impossible for third parties to succeed because the people with the money subscribe to the nonexistent ideals of other parties. The more I learn the more I realize that there really is not even a whole hell of a difference between the Republicans and Democrats. Both are corrupt. In the end, it comes down to the fact that we need less government involvement… For instance, it is absolute insanity that the government now owns General Motors– when the last thing they need is more power. Yikes.

Anyway, before I rant some more about some of the shit that is going down in government, I thought it might be important to introduce you all to the Libertarian Party for those of you who are not yet aware of what we stand for. In short, Libertarians are for getting back to the roots of the constitution. It is about limiting the power of government (for instance, Michigan representatives are the second highest paid in the united states at about $78,000 a year salary in addition to $12,000 (untaxed) bonuses and benefit each year, for only 100 days of work. Anyway, I am off topic again– back to the Libertarians. Here is the Platform for my party, I encourage you to take it seriously and read through what it stands for and be open minded to it. I encourage everyone to go out and find the party that actually suits you and that you feel good about supporting. This just happens to be mine:

Platform

Adopted in Convention, May 2008, Denver, Colorado

Preamble

As Libertarians, we seek a world of liberty; a world in which all individuals are sovereign over their own lives and no one is forced to sacrifice his or her values for the benefit of others.

We believe that respect for individual rights is the essential precondition for a free and prosperous world, that force and fraud must be banished from human relationships, and that only through freedom can peace and prosperity be realized.

Consequently, we defend each person’s right to engage in any activity that is peaceful and honest, and welcome the diversity that freedom brings. The world we seek to build is one where individuals are free to follow their own dreams in their own ways, without interference from government or any authoritarian power.

In the following pages we have set forth our basic principles and enumerated various policy stands derived from those principles.

These specific policies are not our goal, however. Our goal is nothing more nor less than a world set free in our lifetime, and it is to this end that we take these stands. 

Statement of Principles

We, the members of the Libertarian Party, challenge the cult of the omnipotent state and defend the rights of the individual.

We hold that all individuals have the right to exercise sole dominion over their own lives, and have the right to live in whatever manner they choose, so long as they do not forcibly interfere with the equal right of others to live in whatever manner they choose.

Governments throughout history have regularly operated on the opposite principle, that the State has the right to dispose of the lives of individuals and the fruits of their labor. Even within the United States, all political parties other than our own grant to government the right to regulate the lives of individuals and seize the fruits of their labor without their consent.

We, on the contrary, deny the right of any government to do these things, and hold that where governments exist, they must not violate the rights of any individual: namely, (1) the right to life — accordingly we support the prohibition of the initiation of physical force against others; (2) the right to liberty of speech and action — accordingly we oppose all attempts by government to abridge the freedom of speech and press, as well as government censorship in any form; and (3) the right to property — accordingly we oppose all government interference with private property, such as confiscation, nationalization, and eminent domain, and support the prohibition of robbery, trespass, fraud, and misrepresentation.

Since governments, when instituted, must not violate individual rights, we oppose all interference by government in the areas of voluntary and contractual relations among individuals. People should not be forced to sacrifice their lives and property for the benefit of others. They should be left free by government to deal with one another as free traders; and the resultant economic system, the only one compatible with the protection of individual rights, is the free market.

1.0    Personal Liberty

Individuals should be free to make choices for themselves and to accept responsibility for the consequences of the choices they make. No individual, group, or government may initiate force against any other individual, group, or government. Our support of an individual’s right to make choices in life does not mean that we necessarily approve or disapprove of those choices.

1.1    Expression and Communication

We support full freedom of expression and oppose government censorship, regulation or control of communications media and technology. We favor the freedom to engage in or abstain from any religious activities that do not violate the rights of others. We oppose government actions which either aid or attack any religion.

1.2    Personal Privacy

We support the protections provided by the Fourth Amendment to be secure in our persons, homes, and property. Only actions that infringe on the rights of others can properly be termed crimes. We favor the repeal of all laws creating “crimes” without victims, such as the use of drugs for medicinal or recreational purposes.

1.3    Personal Relationships

Sexual orientation, preference, gender, or gender identity should have no impact on the rights of individuals by government, such as in current marriage, child custody, adoption, immigration or military service laws. Consenting adults should be free to choose their own sexual practices and personal relationships. Government does not have the authority to define, license or restrict personal relationships.

1.4    Abortion

Recognizing that abortion is a sensitive issue and that people can hold good-faith views on all sides, we believe that government should be kept out of the matter, leaving the question to each person for their conscientious consideration.

1.5    Crime and Justice

Government exists to protect the rights of every individual including life, liberty and property. Criminal laws should be limited to violation of the rights of others through force or fraud, or deliberate actions that place others involuntarily at significant risk of harm. Individuals retain the right to voluntarily assume risk of harm to themselves. We support restitution of the victim to the fullest degree possible at the expense of the criminal or the negligent wrongdoer. We oppose reduction of constitutional safeguards of the rights of the criminally accused. The rights of due process, a speedy trial, legal counsel, trial by jury, and the legal presumption of innocence until proven guilty, must not be denied. We assert the common-law right of juries to judge not only the facts but also the justice of the law.

1.6    Self-Defense

The only legitimate use of force is in defense of individual rights — life, liberty, and justly acquired property — against aggression. This right inheres in the individual, who may agree to be aided by any other individual or group. We affirm the right to keep and bear arms, and oppose the prosecution of individuals for exercising their rights of self-defense. We oppose all laws at any level of government requiring registration of, or restricting, the ownership, manufacture, or transfer or sale of firearms or ammunition.

2.0    Economic Liberty

A free and competitive market allocates resources in the most efficient manner. Each person has the right to offer goods and services to others on the free market. The only proper role of government in the economic realm is to protect property rights, adjudicate disputes, and provide a legal framework in which voluntary trade is protected. All efforts by government to redistribute wealth, or to control or manage trade, are improper in a free society.

2.1    Property and Contract

Property rights are entitled to the same protection as all other human rights. The owners of property have the full right to control, use, dispose of, or in any manner enjoy, their property without interference, until and unless the exercise of their control infringes the valid rights of others. We oppose all controls on wages, prices, rents, profits, production, and interest rates. We advocate the repeal of all laws banning or restricting the advertising of prices, products, or services. We oppose all violations of the right to private property, liberty of contract, and freedom of trade. The right to trade includes the right not to trade — for any reasons whatsoever. Where property, including land, has been taken from its rightful owners by the government or private action in violation of individual rights, we favor restitution to the rightful owners.

2.2    Environment

We support a clean and healthy environment and sensible use of our natural resources. Private landowners and conservation groups have a vested interest in maintaining natural resources. Pollution and misuse of resources cause damage to our ecosystem. Governments, unlike private businesses, are unaccountable for such damage done to our environment and have a terrible track record when it comes to environmental protection. Protecting the environment requires a clear definition and enforcement of individual rights in resources like land, water, air, and wildlife. Free markets and property rights stimulate the technological innovations and behavioral changes required to protect our environment and ecosystems. We realize that our planet’s climate is constantly changing, but environmental advocates and social pressure are the most effective means of changing public behavior.

2.3    Energy and Resources

While energy is needed to fuel a modern society, government should not be subsidizing any particular form of energy. We oppose all government control of energy pricing, allocation, and production.

2.4    Government Finance and Spending

All persons are entitled to keep the fruits of their labor. We call for the repeal of the income tax, the abolishment of the Internal Revenue Service and all federal programs and services not required under the U.S. Constitution.  We oppose any legal requirements forcing employers to serve as tax collectors. Government should not incur debt, which burdens future generations without their consent. We support the passage of a “Balanced Budget Amendment” to the U.S. Constitution, provided that the budget is balanced exclusively by cutting expenditures, and not by raising taxes.

2.5    Money and Financial Markets

We favor free-market banking, with unrestricted competition among banks and depository institutions of all types. Individuals engaged in voluntary exchange should be free to use as money any mutually agreeable commodity or item. We support a halt to inflationary monetary policies, the repeal of legal tender laws and compulsory governmental units of account.

2.6    Monopolies and Corporations

We defend the right of individuals to form corporations, cooperatives and other types of companies based on voluntary association. We seek to divest government of all functions that can be provided by non-governmental organizations or private individuals. We oppose government subsidies to business, labor, or any other special interest. Industries should be governed by free markets.

2.7    Labor Markets

We support repeal of all laws which impede the ability of any person to find employment. We oppose government-fostered forced retirement. We support the right of free persons to associate or not associate in labor unions, and an employer should have the right to recognize or refuse to recognize a union. We oppose government interference in bargaining, such as compulsory arbitration or imposing an obligation to bargain.

2.8    Education

Education, like any other service, is best provided by the free market, achieving greater quality and efficiency with more diversity of choice. Schools should be managed locally to achieve greater accountability and parental involvement. Recognizing that the education of children is inextricably linked to moral values, we would return authority to parents to determine the education of their children, without interference from government. In particular, parents should have control of and responsibility for all funds expended for their children’s education.

2.9    Health Care

We favor restoring and reviving a free market health care system. We recognize the freedom of individuals to determine the level of health insurance they want, the level of health care they want, the care providers they want, the medicines and treatments they will use and all other aspects of their medical care, including end-of-life decisions.

2.10    Retirement and Income Security

Retirement planning is the responsibility of the individual, not the government. We favor replacing the current government-sponsored Social Security system with a private voluntary system. The proper source of help for the poor is the voluntary efforts of private groups and individuals.

3.0    Securing Liberty

The protection of individual rights is the only proper purpose of government. Government is constitutionally limited so as to prevent the infringement of individual rights by the government itself. The principle of non-initiation of force should guide the relationships between governments.

3.1    National Defense

We support the maintenance of a sufficient military to defend the United States against aggression. The United States should both abandon its attempts to act as policeman for the world and avoid entangling alliances. We oppose any form of compulsory national service.

3.2    Internal Security and Individual Rights

The defense of the country requires that we have adequate intelligence to detect and to counter threats to domestic security. This requirement must not take priority over maintaining the civil liberties of our citizens.  The Bill of Rights provides no exceptions for a time of war. Intelligence agencies that legitimately seek to preserve the security of the nation must be subject to oversight and transparency. We oppose the government’s use of secret classifications to keep from the public information that it should have, especially that which shows that the government has violated the law.

3.3    International Affairs

American foreign policy should seek an America at peace with the world and its defense against attack from abroad. We would end the current U.S. government policy of foreign intervention, including military and economic aid. We recognize the right of all people to resist tyranny and defend themselves and their rights. We condemn the use of force, and especially the use of terrorism, against the innocent, regardless of whether such acts are committed by governments or by political or revolutionary groups.

3.4    Free Trade and Migration

We support the removal of governmental impediments to free trade.  Political freedom and escape from tyranny demand that individuals not be unreasonably constrained by government in the crossing of political boundaries.  Economic freedom demands the unrestricted movement of human as well as financial capital across national borders.  However, we support control over the entry into our country of foreign nationals who pose a threat to security, health or property.

3.5    Rights and Discrimination

We condemn bigotry as irrational and repugnant. Government should not deny or abridge any individual’s rights based on sex, wealth, race, color, creed, age, national origin, personal habits, political preference or sexual orientation. Parents, or other guardians, have the right to raise their children according to their own standards and beliefs.

3.6    Representative Government

We support electoral systems that are more representative of the electorate at the federal, state and local levels.  As private voluntary groups, political parties should be allowed to establish their own rules for nomination procedures, primaries and conventions. We call for an end to any tax-financed subsidies to candidates or parties and the repeal of all laws which restrict voluntary financing of election campaigns. We oppose laws that effectively exclude alternative candidates and parties, deny ballot access, gerrymander districts, or deny the voters their right to consider all legitimate alternatives.

3.7    Self-Determination

Whenever any form of government becomes destructive of individual liberty, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to agree to such new governance as to them shall seem most likely to protect their liberty.

4.0    Omissions

Our silence about any other particular government law, regulation, ordinance, directive, edict, control, regulatory agency, activity, or machination should not be construed to imply approval.

 Bless us,

Maggie

Weddings are such a pain in the ass… woof. But, everything is done now and it was one of the best times ever and I loved it. I am still hurting from dancing like no one was watching or like I was too drunk to care, but what can you do? I also painted my mom and dad’s room this week, which looks AMAZING so I will have to post a picture or two of that as well… phenomenal.

What else is new? Well, Dung moved back to Vietnam, and I am currently working to get my room looking and smelling like normal. I steam cleaned the carpet and my mattress today and am washing every single inch of it– yikes

I am still trying to get a job, and hating Michigan for having a succubus economy.

I fell off the ladder painting my mom and dad’s room and landed on my moms jewelery box which she didn’t notice, and I still have a giant bruise on my ass.

I have a zit on my lip, which has never happened to me before and pissed me off because of course it happened when I had to get up and sing in front of a big ass wedding and try to hit on drunk and desperate groomsmen, relatives, and the like…

Our little wiener babies are getting cuter everyday. My grandpa Bumpy picked out one and named it Slinky and he is my favorite because he moon walks all over the kitchen… One of them finally can bark and growl, so we call him Bob Barker, but the other ones cannot yet make noises.

I read My Sister’s Keeper and have never bawled as much after reading a book, but I did come close when Dobby died in the Harry Potter series.

I miss Albion and my peeps and Ireland and my peeps and wish I was going back there after this summer, but what can you do?

I met a bartender at the wedding who looked just like George Carlin– and kept calling him that… and drank my weight in booze and he accused me of pouring them down the toilet because I really didn’t get very drunk.

My dad and brother were drunk at the reception and they along with the rest of my family set me up and had me tell a hilarious story that happened earlier that night between my ex-uncle and I and when I got to the punch line, they both pretended that they laughed so hard they spit out their beer, but they way over did it and soaked me from head to toe in beer and I was sticky and fooled and had to wash my hair twice and now have to get my dress dry cleaned.

I am broke.

That is about it for the past week or two… living the dream as usual.

Bless us

Maggie

The Monkey Who Had Seen the World by Edwin Landseer

The Monkey Painter by Jean Baptiste Simeon Chardin

The Monkey Antiquarian by Jean Baptiste Simeon Chardin

The Monkey Antiquarian (another) Jean Baptiste of course

Crowned Monkey Smoking a Cigarette

Pure genius-- little harry potter monkey

Where does he park his little monkey scooter when he goes into the trees? Maybe he has a chain.

poor little pooped out monkey

Bless us

Maggie

It is called The Monkey Painter and is by Alexandre Gabriel Decamps.

It is this painter, and this painter alone, that gives me hope that maybe not all French people are dried crotch ass holes– if that makes sense (I guess my friend Marine is proof as well, but that is all)

Anyway, check out this painting, The Monkey Painter– I love the way that the title is what it is and that it features a monkey doing human things. I am now going to see what other lovely paintings I can find of monkeys doing human things.

Bless us

Maggie

The Monkey Painter-- the best painting in the world/ the Louvre